Reconnecting

You know what I think is the funny thing about growing up? Things change. Yes, this will be personal, will probably embarrass me, and will reveal some names.

Yes, I know that sometimes that's a bad thing, but right now I'm talking about those good things. The good things like reconnecting with someone you went to high school with. Maybe it's someone that you weren't even close friends with, but now that you're older you can see through all of the high school drama and intrigue to see the real person.

In high school, outside of my close friends, I really only thought I knew my peers. When really all I knew was their shell.

For instance, I knew that Andrew Nance was by far the best looking guy I'd ever laid eyes on. I had a crush on him from the first day I saw him in my 8th grade band class when he came in from the high school to help us with percussion. On that day, I was thanking my Maker for my decision to switch from trumpet to percussion in 6th grade. It was bliss being on the drum line with him, but I always felt like a total fool around him. But, you know, I didn't really know him. He always seemed so out of my league and mysterious. I never took the time or found the courage to delve any deeper into his personality. I was fully content just to be in his presence and look at him all period. Still to this day I wonder if he ever knew I had a crush on him or if he just thought I was some weird chick who acted like an idiot when he was around.

Speaking of the band, people think that it's just for geeks, but let me tell you they're wrong. You will never see as many naked people all in one place as the band room before a game. And there were some really hot guys and some really pretty girls in the band, and they weren't shallow either. They were quirky, fun, loud, and each had an electric personality. Now, back to the topic of this post.

I also knew that Cassie Farmer had the best hair EVER and I would have traded a kidney to have it. Miranda West always had the prettiest eyes and I always loved her clothes, I wanted to be her. Rachel DeVore could play the piano like nobody's business and she had the sweetest soul and prettiest smile. I despised Andy Stringfield but only because I was completely and totally jealous of him, not because he was a bad guy, actually he was a great guy, but he could sing his heart out, he could play the piano, and he got the quads his Freshman year when I'd begged for them and was older, the quads were really the pebble that knocked the whole mountain down.

You notice the pattern here? I wonder if every high schooler has a jealous heart. I liked these people, even if I didn't admit it, but I was so envious of them or so star struck that I never took the time to truly get to know them. There were also so many guys who I crushed on (but not as hard as Andrew or for as long) but never got up the nerve to even think about talking to them.

It's been almost 10 years since what would have been my Senior year. In that time I think we've all done a lot of growing. I know I have. My husband hates Facebook, but I have to admit it's a lifeline for me. I've reconnected with so many high school friends, realized that even some of my best friends in high school want nothing to do with me now, gotten to know people I went to high school with (but wasn't really friends with) better, and met some of the most awesome people ever that I now consider to be my best friends even though they all live miles (and sometimes even oceans) away from me.

I guess what I'm getting at is that everyone changes. Some for better, some for worse, some for reasons they can't control, but everyone changes and grows in some way during the long years trying to really reach adulthood after high school.

I'm 26 and I still feel like there's so much more growing to do, but I hope I'm on the right track. I found my first grey hairs the other day. My youngest son will be starting school next year. I'll be going back to school next year. I'm learning to step outside of my comfort zone and make that first leap. I've always been outgoing and friendly, but those high school hurdles are sometimes hard to cross.

Who would have thought that the funny guy who I thought was gonna kill me (a practical joke that was hilarious after I learned it was a joke) would become an even closer friend 10 years after high school was over? Who would have thought that I'd have anything in common with and actually really enjoy chatting with the mysterious and admittedly hot artistic guy that everyone of the girls in school admired from afar? Who would have thought that I'd lose all of my best friends after high school, only to get to know them all over again?

Reconnecting is pretty awesome. Seems we do a lot of that through life. As we all change and grow at different rates and different times we move in and out of each other's lives as the years pass. We learn what's important and who is important. We learn to cherish our true friends and dismiss the others. You know what, I wonder, if I live to be a hundred will I still feel like I'm learning something and growing everyday? I don't think life would have much meaning if there wasn't always some new revelation taking place. I hope that I continue to learn and grow for as long as I live so life will never feel empty and stale, even if I don't make it to a hundred. And I hope that there's always new and old friends to meet along the way (and I so totally don't mean I want Alzheimer's or dementia so everyone is new to me). With those thoughts laid out on paper (or screen as the case may be), I think I can finally get my brain to rest so I can get some sleep.